gramarye corazon//

Thursday, August 6, 2020 { Besh Yil. }

Salaam. So i guess just like that 5 years has passed? and i told myself i would start blogging regularly. So many things have happened. Amca K left us in July 2016. my beloved Periyappa left us in November 2017. Tata left us the next month. Mamaneh, my mamaneh, left us in June 2018. and along the way, Amca N, Amca M, Amca A, they all went one by one. there were so many ups and downs that all in all, i believe it made me a stronger perosn. (i still cry over the smallest things, some things won't change i guess).

i would say 2018 was not a good year for us. but in that, we got ourselves Bob, Boobert Scoobert, Bobert the Don, Bobby. he became the light that brought joy to our home once again. and we decided that Bob should have a companion and thanks to a nanben i got Baby. Baby, Adik, the mother, cutie pie. and so there were two.

2019 i would say was kind of a good year for me. first of all my askim Saroja got married i am beyond happy for her. I got awarded the Model Worker Award from NTUC (yes i had to go up the stage to get it and okay i walked too fast). And then i was one of 10 nominees in the whole of Singapore to be selected by #inspirasiSG. and to top it all off, i was CEO of the year for 2019 at the place i have worked a donkey decade for, Royal Plaza on Scotts. Praises to the Almighty for all these extensions to His small creation right here. (M, oh M. you take up all the space left in my organs. the immense love i have for you)

And then along came 2020. with the pandemic and what not (but for the first time i had an ann.v to begin with. hayatim benim.) so as you know Bob is a boy, Baby is a girl, and on the leap day year of 2020, February 29th, we got little Bunny. and then there were three. they kept their appa/tata company, the lights of our lives and home.

I got sick. really sick. thanks to all the contemplations and procrastinations i finally got Splenomegaly (condition where your spleen enlarges beyond its actual size). hospitalized three days shy of my twenty seventh and spending my twenty seventh on the twenty seventh on the hospital bed, thinking how far i have gone astray from Him. and that He still loves me and wants me to remember Him. can't rule out cancer as a whole as of yet. (well there is a strong history of that on mamaneh's side of the family tree). well if everything goes as planned, 14th August will be the day i get my spleen removed . the tumor growing from within which is suspected to be a humongous blood clot which is pushing my kidney out of place. (yes i have googled enough of what happens when one removes their spleen and with His will, everything will be good). still waiting on the result of the PET scan which will determine if this enlarged spleen is caused by other cancerous parts of the body.

I pray that the Almighty gives strength and patience and perseverance to Appa for having to go through all of these yet again with me this time (after Mamaneh). now should be the time i take care of you, not the other way around. Almighty has His ways and plans and when the time comes, i will take care of you Appa. just hope i too, am strong enough to accept and overcome His tests.

Well i guess i shall end it here and since my hospitalization leave is most probably going to be till the end of the month, i will try to write, and not bottle up things within (apart from M). God is Great.

Sairashaj-

Sunday, July 26, 2015 { HEY NOW HEY NOW }

HEY SO NOW MY CREATIVE THINKING CLASS AT NAFA (YES I AM BACK IN SCHOOL DOING WHAT I LOVE IN SHAA ALLAH FOR THE BETTER) USES BLOGS FOR ASSIGNMENTS AND AS THE OLDER STUDENT I FEEL SO HAPPEH SO NOW I GET TO KEEP IN TOUCH WITH YOU AND MY OTHER BLOG SO YEY AND HELLO IT'S BEEN A WHILE I'LL COME BACK TO UPDATE YOU AS FREQUENTLY AS I CAN. BUENOS NOCHES.

SAIRA-

Monday, April 20, 2015 { WHAT. }

Oh Salaam everybady (or whoever will be reading this) what's it been? two years? a lot has happened, first and foremost, i'm covered. Thank God. Second,i've travelled to a few places now. Penang, most recently, KL, Genting. Yup thus far. Desaru soon God's will. And i'm going to BSB live this May. I've went to Il Divo live alone and it was awesome, and i'm going to WWE live in July yeahah. Finally. After belasan years i finally get a chance to see them live. Going with the next block neighbor and we got ringside tickets yes we did. Oh i'm still working at Carousel but will be resigning end of June because Thank God i'm going back to school for my fine arts diploma finally. It may be my rival school but better than nothing right. So everything has been going well. In Shaa Allah my mum gets better. Anyone who is reading, please send due to my mother. I will not lose faith.Catch you some time soon, and when i say soon, i hope it's not another two more years nyeheh. God is Great.

Sairah.

Thursday, December 20, 2012 { diamonds. }

everything that has happened have put me in a situation where i'm still not truly happy, not yet.
im not sure who to turn to anymore except for The Almighty.
overthinking thought train is going to kill me if i don't put a stop to it.
should just be happy and contented with everything i have right now, in this moment.
love and like are two different, very very different things.
and if you don't understand you jolly well ask and not judge.
don't your parents ever taught you never to judge a book by its cover?
reading as taken up a lot of my time and i'm happy about it.
10 books in 5 months. quite a alot don't you think?

sairah.

Thursday, September 6, 2012 { months. }

You know, so many things've happened this past months that i have no idea where to start. so first of all, i would like to thank God Almighty for granting me the opportunity to be able to live an breathe and thank God Almighty for giving me whatever i have now. and though this toothache is really gonna make me go crazy somehow, i will get it yanked out tomorrow afternoon and God's Will it gets better asap. because i really wanna get back on my feet to work [as ironic as it sounds i actually miss going to work] and i miss sweetu already. and when i say alot of things've happened i mean ALOT. like for instance, i have become somebody's minachi and somebody has become my sweetu. so yes. go figure. everything else need not be said here. or anywhere else. i just have to tell syakur about it and i'll be on my way. so for now, wish me luck with the tooth-yanking tomorrow and God's Will everything goes alright. so, goodnight sweetu and goodmorning benji madden my love ♥.

sairah.