Wednesday, May 2, 2012
{ chup chupke. }
Hello after what seems to be ages. well i'm back. and doing fine seeing that i'm still alive. alot has gone on in my life that i have become too tired to elaborate so much so let me summarize, full-timed, raised, probable weight loss [seeing that mama dier has commented on why i've lost so much weight, Alhamdulillah hehehe], confession level 98 to that certain homosapien whom i still love, little minor changes but still the same, orientation after a year plus, this new not so teeny weeny crush on a certain beatle of the hazelnut color who has made me smile so fucking much this past two weeks and made me more dependant on my ownself, made me feel so happy and light, like, i don't have to depend on anyone else but myself though a part of me still puts hopes, no, feelings into that other homosapien. on a separate note, more tamil/hindi songs stuck in my head, more nostalgia of ze past. caught the woman in black[which was a much disappointing ending but was good], the cabin in the woods[ which had a fucking good storyline but fucking terrible ending also], and finally the avengers earlier on which was fucking awesome and i really wanna watch it a-fucking-gain. my lovely saro bought a new phone and am happy for her. oh, i met seelan[i sriously forgot his real name] but yes i saw him, he thin and handsome and wahhh. ok that's pretty much it. and beatle, thanks for really making me smile so much more this past two weeks. i don't know what i'm feeling right now. i think it's a crush? i think it's infatuation but i really like you. you make me happy [ apart from that other homosapien]. i finally have butterflies in my stomach again. i have hummingbird heartbeats again. i feel, light, happy. and it's because of you. you so cute and sweet i just want to pinch and squeeze you until i can see rainbows. well, that's about it. so, till i come back when i have the time and oh vettai is getting so intense damn it. ok goodnight beatle and gerbil. and goodmorning bnjmadden my love ♥
sairah.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
{ be here. }
You know you are in love with a girl when you don't even think about fucking her. You know you're in love with a guy when you think about having sex with him.
the fuck is wrong with me right now. goodnight misconstrued over-thought gestures apprehending nature after demanding hassles and side steps.
sairah.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
{ losing control. }
" Don't change because someone wants you too. Change because you want to. If you have to change for someone then they aren't worth it. The ones that don't want you to change accepts you for who you are and are worth your time."
Peace be upon all humans of Allah s.w.t. I was expecting my hair to turn out like the one above but it didn't. But i like my hair now. it's a bit too freaken curly but i like it. i'm back to my original hair. no more rebonding or straightening. All i can do now is wait for it to grow long again. truth is by the time it's long as i desire, you'll be gone.. but it's ok. i'll just make the most out of it. And now i know where they stand. and where you, you and especially you, stand. just from a haircut i know the real ones the not so. Alhamdulillah. and you, seriously. i don't know what i am to do about it. i really don't. i know i can't have you, i know this is all that we can ever be, but you're making it difficult for me with these things. I'll try to lessen my expectations so as to lessen my chances of disappointment. but all i know is you're not just a senior, not just another friend. you're so much more but i can't really seem to put to words how much you mean to me. and you don't even know. well, see you on monday love. goodnight/morning. and also bnjmadden my love.
sairah.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
{ who's in charge. }
Goodmidnight creatures loved by Allah s.w.t. Peace be upon all. ok first of all i just wanted to see the difference in me from 2007 to 2012. hahaha i can literally laugh at my own face. but hey, at least i did change, and i'm guessing for the better. just look at that left picture, still with that good ol' piercing and that whole which apparently still hasn't closed after what seems to be five years already. But Alhamdulillah i've changed for the better. oh the curly wurly hair. i do miss miss miss miss miss my curly wurly hair and the fact that it's coming back out now, i feel like chopping off my hair and letting it grow curly again. but i'm afraid of the outcome. hmm. i'll think about it this week. So in other news, today i'm happy then upset for a while then angry then happy then upset for awhile again then freaked out for a minute or two and then i went home happy as a goober. you, never fail to brighten my day. and indeed if you're down, i'll try to console you like how you would to me. and seeing you not smile makes me uneasy, like i wanna past you a note that writes in bold and big letters, "Smile, it'll make things better :) " but, well, i have my ways and you most certainly have yours and i don't know if it's just me or what, i just smelled you. like right now. that significant fragrant of your just went up my nostrils. ♥ ok sairah get real, tunay. but whatever it is, mahalkita. and something you said earlier really got me thinking and happy hehe. so my macbook crashed down on my upper lip and hit my teeth and now it's bleeding inside and swelling. what a start. it hurts.. Thank God for my offday otherwise i'd have to come to work with senget lips and not being able to smile properly. hah. ok i guess i should get some rest now so see you on the fifth day of the week love. Goodnight/morning. and goodafternoon benjimadden my love.
Monday, February 13, 2012
{ i can tell. }
Well, i guess having you as a friend, keeping you close, is better than losing you. To nothing. am i right? Goodnight love. and Bnjmdn, Goodmorning ♥
sairah.
